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Old 11-05-2007, 02:31 PM
Blarg Blarg is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2004
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Default Re: November \"I FORGOT MY MANTRA\" Low Content chit-chat thread

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Katy,

I think one explanation is that that he's eying the company ladder. He sees you, since you and he work together and since you have 8 years on him, as his major competition. The manner in which he's demeaning you could be his way to try and leapfrog over you and on up the ranks and the pay scale. And if I'm right about this, it looks like he might be winning. You sound like you're bending over to his aggression. Runkmund is right here. Certainly go to your superiors if he threatens you with violence again. This could very well be a "him or you" situation, and while I'm sure you hate to lose a friend over something like this, I think he's already broken that friendship. There's no friendship there to lose at this point. I'd suggest standing up for yourself in front of him, especially if he's acting like this in front of other people, especially if those people are relevant to your career path. Don't just ask him if he's kidding and then roll over. Instead, compose yourself, and in a calm but firm voice, call him out for his rudeness and overstepping his bounds.

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Exactly. There is no friendship here. He should fear talking to you that way.

The only thing I would do differently from Mr. Wookie's suggestion is to create the paper trail NOW. You don't always get second chances. If there is a threat he made to you, especially in public, the time to capitalize on it is while it still means something and isn't lost in the haze of the past and given deniability thereby.

ABCD. Always Be Creating Documentation.

It's what lawsuits live by. It is what careers are destroyed by. It is what chances for promotion are bolstered by.

If people know you are dealing with them on a professional level and keeping everything out in the open air, it's harder for nasty plans to ferment up a stink in silence. As a result, people won't even consider trying stuff on you anymore when they know they will be held accountable for it and it will go in their personnel record and jeopardize their careers. It's only the person who won't speak up that keeps getting shouted down.