[ZeTurd]

Our Purple Jesus which art in Minnesota,
Our Purple Jesus, all-harmonious,
Hallowed be Thy name.
Adorable One.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy kingdom is coming when and as...
Thy will be done at home, as it will on the road.
Enable us to behold your awesomeness,--as on TV or in the stadium,--Purple Jesus is omnipotent, supreme.
Give us this day our daily yardage;
Give us sweet runs for to-day; vanquish Thy opposing defenses;
And lead us not into temptation, to foolishly start another RB;
And Purple Jesus leadeth us not into losses, but delivereth us from injured players, overrated deadbeats, and Shawn [censored] Alexander.
For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, and many yards and many TD's, forever.
For Purple Jesus is infinite, all-power, all Life, Truth, Love, over all, and All (especially Shawn Alexander).