[Al_Capone_Junior]

The poker community needs to teach players proper ettiquette. This needs to happen now, and must include more than just the dealer who's once again fixing problems caused by players who hide their cards. Everyone must get off their lazy butts and get with the friggin' program already. Dealers, floors, cashiers, brushes, tournament directors, and most of all, television.

C'mon now, you don't operate a radial arm saw without understanding where the friggin' sharp part is, where to put the work vs where to put your hands, or where the on/off switch is located. Neither should you play poker if you have no clue about the basics. The basics have nothing to do with strategy either. I have a 2-minute crash course I offer to anyone who appears to be a newbie. I tell them it's only what's not obvious from playing at home. Most are more than happy to listen. The course is basically this:

1. How to look at your cards properly (including don't completely cover them, everyone must be able to see them at all times)

2. Keep a chip on your cards so they don't get swiped

3. Don't let go of your cards until they push you the money

The first three rules are all the same: protect your hand. This is more important than what beats what.

4. How to bet or raise properly so you don't get called on a string bet.

5. Tipping is customary but not required. For most pots a buck is fine. If you tip more, you're a saint. If the dealer's being a jerk, don't tip them.

The rest of the rules are long and complicated and you don't need to know them all, you'll learn as you go.

I've been giving this schpeal for a long time and it produces nothing but good results. These instructions will keep many a new player from having a bad experience that makes their first time their last.

Everyone needs to teach proper ettiquette and behavior, but most everyone has dropped the ball on this one. Television has done live poker the biggest disservice of all. They pound it into your head that it's 220:1 to get dealt pocket aces, but never seem to cover anything that's actually important. I'm not going to digress too far on that except to say I friggin' hate tv poker, and have refused to watch it for years because it's speeding up the dumbing down of america.

Cardrooms also need to clearly post rules of ettiquette in giant letters where all can see them. I see rooms with 35 or more rules written real small on a plaque in the back, but even then, basic ettiquette is not discussed. There should be a highly visible plaque with about 5-7 basics of ettiquette in every room. It should be located so that no one can possibly miss it. Other information can be posted in the back.

I understand your frustration, but until something along the lines of my solutions are enacted everywhere, expect the chaos to continue. Educating players is the only cure.

Al