[Blarg]

We started being a foster family when I was about 9. I understood everything. My parents told me some of why some of the kids were there, partially to not keep secrets from me and partially because it would help explain some of their bizarre behavior. Sometimes they had sexual problems and behavior, sometimes they were violent or unreasoning, sometimes they were fearful seemingly for no reason, or bizarrely clingy, or more angry or scared toward one sex than another, and it didn't make sense until you found out about the back story. Then it made more sense and it was easier to deal with on a daily basis. If you learned that a kid was scared to death of bags or taking a bath, and why, you wouldn't try to press those ordinary things on him and would find a work-around and give him extra room. If you found out about his sexual background it was easier to be compassionate and calm rather than freaked out when he acted out, etc. We also occasionally saw something out in the community about it, like the dad went to jail, or the mom left her infant and two toddlers naked at the bus stop all weekend while she went and partied and they were finally turned in to the police by some passerby, etc. The biological parents were always a presence in their kids' lives, too, and that meant they were also part of ours one way or another. I'm sure I wasn't told every story's every detail, but I was told or picked up on most of it.