[bogey1]

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A couple days ago I was having a conversation with my parents and my mother brought up the issue of having kids. I have never really discussed this and I told her that I dont see myself having kids ever. She gave me this look of disappointment as if I had done something wrong.

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I'm not sure it's dissapointment. Maybe somewhat. Since your mother obviously enjoyed having you, she isn't going to emotionally grasp why you aren't looking forward to having kids of your own.

I think, beyond dissapointment, part of that "look" is hurt. Somewhere inside her is a voice asking "Was his childhood so bad, was my parenting so poor, that it's made him not want children? Is this my fault?" And she fills with sadness, not just because you don't want children, but because it calls into question whether the life she gave you as a child was a good one.

Now, obviously, you know it's got nothing to do with that. But, I can tell you, as a parent, you want so much for your child's life to have been a happy one that your gut instinct is that you've failed when he/she rejects having a child of their own. It's not really logical, but it's there.