[ntnBO]

Several things,

Since the ball was seen coming back from the green after a while, it's safe to assume an outside agency was at work. Therefore you place the ball on the green at a point agreed on by the group. If the ball was not seen, then nothing can be assumed and the ball must be played as it lies.

If you can come within ~20 yards of the group in front of you counting roll, you wait, plain and simple. You do not take a chance on hitting into the group in front of you or even coming close. Apologies were in order from the OP. Personally, if my best poke can sniff the group in front, I'm not comfortable hitting and will wait every time.

Some women can play, most cannot. Some men can play, most cannot. I routinely play with a 60-year old woman who has played in over 100 USGA championships, won the British Women's Senior Amateur, and can still shoot in the low 70's from the back tees. The OP's situation has nothing to do with the gender of the group in front.

Regarding the CPGA event where the starter threatened to DQ the player unless he teed off. In that situation, an official doesn't have that power, a starter certainly does not!

Andrew Magee made the albatross deflecting off Tom Byrum's putter.

BO