[prohornblower]

It's not top-tier, but I've always liked this one:

They bought it. Incredible! One of the worst performances of my career,
and they never doubted it for a second. How could I be expected
to handle school on a day like this? This is my ninth sick day. It's tough coming up with new illnesses. If I go for ten, I'll have to barf up a lung, so I'd better make this one count.
The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands, it's a good non-specific symptom. I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you a good phony fever is a dead-lock, but if you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office. You fake a stomach cramp and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a bit childish and stupid, but then again, so is high school. Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. I do have a test today, that wasn't [censored]. It's on European socialism. I mean really, what's the point? I'm not European, I don’t plan on being European, so who gives a crap if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists, and it still wouldn't change the fact that I don’t own a car.
I recall Central Park in fall
how you tore your dress
what a mess, I confess...
It's not that I condone fascism, or any "ism" for that matter. A person should not believe in an "ism", he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon: "I don't believe in Beatles I just believe in me"
A good point there after all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus, and it still wouldn’t change the fact that I don’t own a car.