[Dale Dough]

Re: moving for a girl:

I guess I sorta did that, but other factors were at play. I felt that I was wasting too much time, and a radical change would be the solution. So after I met my current girl during a poker trip to Moscow, Russia, I moved. I was itching for a push, a reason to leave my current life behind, and this was it. Two or three months after I left she moved in with me, and we're still happy together.

To be honest, though, I didn't expect things to last with her. Before I left, I made the commitment that if things wouldn't work out, I would not go back or take off to someplace else. I would force myself to make something of myself HERE. Make friends, get laid, maybe an internship or so. A worthy reason in itself, since I was still living with the folks at home.

I find that I do things much better when I kind of have to, so I took away the option to just hang with my friends of brothers every once in a while in lieu of 'trying new things'.

Would I have succeeded? I can't know. What I do know is that I still waste a lot of time on the Net and 2+2. My gf and, to a lesser extent, some regulars in my favorite casino, took the place of my friends and family back home. So you can't escape your problems by moving away. But that's not the point of this post.

What I also learned is that it's very, very good to have a backup plan. When my girl didn't live with my yet, there were multiple times where I was genuinely ready to call it quits, and told her so in no uncertain terms. Not in an ultimatum way, but more like 'ok, [censored] it, guess we weren't meant to be'. She STILL tells me that I probably called her and wanted to spend time with her too much at that time. I didn't feel that I was desperate at all, but I probably was at least somewhat. Imagine if I didn't have the backup plan.

So, manupod, if you must move to be with this girl, HAVE A BACKUP PLAN FFS. From your post I gather that you want to move to be with a girl who may or may not want the same. Don't make that girl the sole reason, or you will [censored] it up for sure. Have something planned that you will do for at least a few months. Don't turn it into a 'please be with me so I don't have to leave town' situation.