You all laughed at this post:
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Hey sports fans, Irish Mike here.
Is there a team that you just can't stand? Do you hate their players, their fans, their management, their mascot, their team colors, their choices in music, their brand of cologne, their underwear or their momma? Wouldn't you like to make it so they never won another game for the rest of all eternity?
I can help with that.
For a modest fee,* I will personally delve into the history and customs of any team you select and burrow myself deep into their fanbase. Once accepted, I will work my powerful badluckbox anti-mojo voodoo curses upon them to such a point where, just as two examples, their offensive line collapses like a house of cards or their three most powerful hitters go 4-for-27 in two games.
Yes, it really is that simple. Just call on the sick suck powers of Irish Mike. Your enemies will blow, guaranteed.**
*Fee not actually modest.
**Guarantee not actually guaranteed.
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Told ya.