[Aloysius]

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i know this is an extremely routine question but i was thinking about it recently and i'm trying to think of the right kind of things to say when getting set up with a blind date before you actually meet. the problem is that you are inherently setting yourself up in a weak position...

1) why do you even need to be set up?
2) why do you want to meet someone you've never met?

i feel like anything i might write in this email (i was given email address not phone number) is going to come off as loser-ish. same deal with offering to take the girl out to dinner... why do i want to take out a girl i haven't met?

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I tend to agree with Diablo wrt blind dates (more organic just to meet the person in a group setting), but my friends are always trying to set me up so I've been on a few.

In general, really, blind dates are not a big deal at all. You're just 2 single people who happen to be in-between relationships, and a mutual friend thought you might be good together. No need to feel like a tool - in a first e-mail just mention your mutual friend or whatever connection you have.

I've done dinner or drinks on a blind date and it's been fine and not awkward at all. I pretty much trust my friends, so chance the girl is incredibly annoying or something is slim - also always plenty of conversation (as you barely know anything about each other).

FWIW I'm 31 and usually get set up with girls ~27 or so, so maybe going "more casual" (e.g. brunch) is better as a general rule for younger people more uncomfortable with the idea of a set up.

-Al