[Morrek]

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You lost 27k at what stakes? And over how many hands?

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It's a bit nebulous, because I bounced around 2/4 thru 5/10, and had multiple downswings across all limits, separated by some brief reprieves at the lower stakes. But I'd say about 9k of this downswing was 5/10, about 6k of it is from 3/6, and about 12 [censored] k at 2/4. Over 45k hands, since September 9th.

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Either way, move down, watch some videos, start every session with a good mindset(if you need to take a few days off for this DO IT)

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Yeah, I took a week off in August after some soul-crushing at 5/10. But maybe that wasn't long enough, because I didn't fully recover psychologically. To be honest, I would force myself to sit down to play, and a feeling of dread would wash over me.

I always watch all the videos I can, and honestly, they mostly seem pedestrian to me, like I'm not taking anything away from them, because I already know all that stuff. Maybe I do have an ego problem or something.

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You're probably not realizing it but (without having played with you) you've most likely been playing pretty bad. The good news is you can change it. You can play better. But first I think you have to start thinking about the game quite differently.

I dunno, I kinda get the feeling that you're almost trapped in a life you don't want. Or atleast in a job you don't want. I'm not in a position to judge you though but please think about this. Is poker really what you wanna do with your life? Does it get you were you want to go? "I would force myself to sit down to play, and a feeling of dread would wash over me." - If you still feel like this today then this is definitely where you need to start. It's nearly impossible to play good solid winning poker (atleast in my experience) if you feel like this.

THEN if you decide this is what you want to do, then I think you have to start playing 1/2 (or maybe even .5/1) for x hands. I've posted about this before, but I'll do it again: I was close to busto once and moved down from 3/6 (with some 5/10 shots) to 1/2 and still couldn't have a winning session to save my life. Then I restructured my game a bit, played a short winning session at .5/1 (seriously like 300 hands or less) and just felt completely differently about poker on the whole. I immedietly moved back to 1/2 and played soo much better than I did earlier, and, well, it's been going pretty well since(playing 10/20 and 25/50 today)