View Single Post
  #134  
Old 10-11-2007, 12:01 AM
bogey1 bogey1 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 433
Default Re: Emotional Affairs

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Hugs - No. He would like them big boobies pressing against his chest. I say he should keep 3' of air between him and another girl.

[/ QUOTE ]

Playing devil's advocate...

Say he loved those boobies against him. So what? He gets his hug from a friend, a minor thrill from the boobies, and goes home to/with you (not sure in your mind if he's at a place with you or by himself).

So, no harm done. He got a cheap, basically harmless thrill. Why would you care? Why should you be bothered?

Say he went to a strip club and saw naked boobies. He again gets a basically harmless thrill and goes home to you. Do you care? And if so, why?

[/ QUOTE ]

my point is that sometimes there is harm being done. if you care about your partner, doing something like not going to a strip club or not having long embraces with other men/women shouldn't be a huge inconvenience.

[/ QUOTE ]

The harm then isn't in the activity, but your perception of it? If it didn't bother you, there'd be no harm, right?

I'll let it go though. Your answer is focusing on the emotional words "harm" and "inconvenience" rather than the inward questions of why you'd feel harmed by his seeing naked boobies at a strip club (what about naked boobies on TV?). I suspect either it hits too close to home or, like faith, it's an isssue where you just feel/believe what's right for you and a more abstract discussion has no value.

FWIW, I completely agree with the bulk of the boundaries people have talked about and that it shouldn't be an inconvenience to avoid those issues you know will cause your partner discomfort/pain. I've never really said otherwise. My questions all delved into why do these issues bother us, what's really going on inside?
Reply With Quote