[youtalkfunny]

Inspired by the "matriculate the ball down the field" discussion in the "dumb announcers" thread.

Here's a few to get you started:

"They're killing me, Whitey! They're killing me!"

JERRY GLANVILLE: This is the N-F-L, which stands for "Not for Long" when you make calls like that.

BUM PHILLIPS: That's three holding calls on one team, in one half. (long pause) It ain't funny.

SAM RUTTIGLIANO: Come on baby, one time! One time, baby! One time. One time. ONE TIME!

VINCE LOMBARDI: Everybody's grabbing out there, nobody's tackling!

MARV LEVY: (smiling, pre-game) I went to college with that official.
(later, mid-game) Hey Douglass! Hey, you over-officious jerk!

And my favorite:

MARV LEVY: What we need to run, and it's going to sound crazy, is an eight-eighty-eight (simulates a post route with his hands in the air on every "eight"). Just throw the ball deep down the (bleeping) middle, and hope to get a flag.

(It's my favorite, because the 2006-2007 Chicago Bears adopted the "888, just throw the ball deep down the (bleeping) middle, and hope to get a flag" as their bread-and-butter play, and it somehow got them to a Super Bowl. Like poor Marv, they couldn't win a Super Bowl, either.)