[collegebasicscom]

I would like to add to your helpful posting on writing the college admission essay.

In guideline #2 you suggest a professional tone for the essay. Of course, a writer does not want to be colloquial or slangy, but the writer should also be human, showing some personality. The voice of the writer should come through and not be lost to the non-descript. I suggest to students I consult with to try to be conversational, but in a tone used for an adult friend and not for the locker-side chat with a peer.

In guideline # 3 you write about using nouns and verbs, especially action verbs! Very sound advice. Another way to think about it is to show, not tell. "I enjoy reading." (telling) becomes "My bedside table is piled high with eight novels that range from school reading like Tortilla Flat to the latest Stephen King, while my car always carries biographies for those stuck-in-traffic times, and my how-to-books lie spread about on the pool table in the cellar." (showing)

In guideline #6 you point out it is important to understand your audience. It's true, admissions readers are blurry-eyed with essays that so often sound alike. I suggest an opening that grabs. This is a departure from the thesis statement approach. From the opening line(s) of your essay try to place the reader in the middle of something happening or pose an intriguing question or start with a little coversation--anything that will make the reader sit up from a daze.

And, regarding revision, it might help to read your essay out loud. Reading aloud can let you hear awkward areas, help you find jumbled meanings, and even uncover spelling errors that your eye may well skip over.