Hey guys, I've been using poker as my primary source of income for the last couple of months. Originally I was grinding up the 16s, and got up to the 27s for a good strong run. Then, all at once, I had to cash out a good portion of my roll, just barely enough for the 27s, and hit a major downswing. Moved down to the 16s, kept swinging down.
After 2 weeks of breaking even at the 6.50s, I am starting to get overcome with extreme short-term anger at poker. I don't think it's affecting my game that much, as I vigilantly review my play, but my main concern is how it affects my mind and body in general.
I get to the point of breaking things - valuable things - over 60/40 situations or even coinflips. I feel like I can't win. I feel like no matter how many times I get the money in as an 80/20+ favorite, I will lose every time.
I guess what I'm asking for is tips on how to control this terrible rage I get over extremely close and small $ amount losses. Today I broke my mouse, a door, and my custom guitar amp (threw it at the door). I'm also hurting my throat by how loudly I'm yelling, and my hands from punching things.
Trivia for you psyche majors out there: I'm up for the day. Doesn't matter, because I guess I
feel like I should be up 5 times as much.
I know the cards don't OWE me anything. I know it doesn't matter if I'm better than a guy headsup, that at 400/800 it doesn't really matter who's better. I know all of this stuff. I just can't control the anger.
Thoughts?
Edit:
Sharkscope for some insight. I'm 12-tabling, and I need to make about $800-900/mo to survive.