[Los Feliz Slim]

Being totally irrational is one of the great things about being a sports fan. You know why I love the Red Sox, Celtics, Bruins, and Patriots? Because I grew up in Massachusetts. If the management of any of these teams sucks (and some do, and have), I will hate that management, but I will love and support the team because they have the same name on their jerseys. I hate the Yankees, and I hate Yankee fans unless they are from New York or their father is from New York, in which case I still hate them but I get it. Yankees fans from elsewhere are all bandwagoning front-runners. I hate the Pistons because Bill Laimbeer beats his wife and Isiah Thomas is a little [censored] bitch like Jorge Posada. I hated the Lakers when I was a kid because they were the goddamn Lakers and Pat Riley's hair was ridiculous but now I hate them more because I live in LA and their fans suck bags of dicks. I hate the Mets. My second favorite baseball team is whoever is playing the Yankees, because the Yankees suck.

Deal with it.