# "Graduated in the top 66% of my class."
# "Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis."
# "Special skills: I've got a Ph.D. in human feelings."
# "My contributions on product launches were based on dreams that I had."
# "Experience: Watered, groomed, and fed the family dog for years."
# "Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job."
# "Previous experience: Self-employed -- a fiasco."
# "I like slipping and sliding around behind the counter and controlling the temperature of the food."
# "Reason for leaving last job: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately."
# "Reason for leaving last job: Bounty hunting was outlaw in my state."
# "My ruthlessness terrorized the competition and can sometimes offend."
# "Typing Speed: 756 wpm."
# "Objectives: 10-year goal: Total obliteration of sales and federal income taxes and tax laws."
# "Frequent Lecturer: Largest Audience: 1,351. Standing Ovations: 5. Number of Audience Questions: 30."
# "Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."
# "Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills; and very good at math."
http://www.rinkworks.com/said/resume.shtml