[AquaSwing]

Around 2nd grade I was running behind my buddy behind the houses in our neighborhood. He stepped in the bees nest and I got stung about 45 times. He didn't get stung at all.

The next summer I was riding my Junior Sting-Ray down a big hill and I found out my brakes were not working, I could pedal backwards and the pedals would just go round and round. Uh oh. I ran full speed into a metal chain that was blocking the road. I don't exaclty know what happened next but the result was the bike and I were in a twisted mess and I had racked myself pretty good on the bar. Blood oozed out of my pee pee for two weeks.

Fast forward to July 4th, 2004. I was slicing a standing rib roast with a 10" chefs knife. It was wet under the cutting board and the whole thing starting sliding toward me. As I attempted to grab the roast and save it from falling to the floor, I missed the roast and grabbed the knife instead. Cut all five fingers and the worst was my middle finger that I cut to the bone. Twelve stitches in all.

The next spring I was rolling the garbage bin to the curb for pickup and slipped off the curb and rolled my foot under my leg. Figured it was just a sprain but went to the doctor anyway. After the x-ray, the doctor informed me that I had stretched all the ligaments but instead of any of them actually snapping, the big one actually tore a piece of bone from its home.

There are more, including a major injury to each eye. But that's another story.