Re: college essay
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thanks for the responses...
my teacher laughed when she read it but told me i should start from scratch as she doesnt think my experience with mcdonalds defines me (although it wasnt just a story of me working towards a goal towards a car-i wrote about my perseverance and dedication)
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Laughter is a great method of persuasion. You are writing about something you cared about, and an experience that was formative, and doing so in a way that makes a reader laugh...and your teacher told you to go back to the drawing board? This is why I don't like many English teachers (even though I am one).
This sounds like you need to revise what you have. The golden arches don't necessarily need to "define" you, but there are 1000 ways to approach the topic and still make it suitable for a college entrance essay.
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