Re: any writers?
First, which do you want me to critique? Do you want honest feedback or not?
If you want some honesty: images and themes of the lone figure vs the ocean have been done to death. They are all over the place. As a reader, why shoud I choose to read this poem vs the thousands of other descriptive poems about a lone figure vs nature.
Second, this man is chasing "destiny" as he sails around the empty ocean. This is another theme that has been done to death.
Third, in my personal opinion this is the exact type of theme that you DON'T want to rhyme. If you're going to be overly descriptive and use such overused imagery make it different. As a reader, as soon as I started the poem I knew it exactly what was coming. The expected happened throughout the entire poem. Make the unexpected happen, surprise me.
Lastly, your rhymes are very simplistic and make the poem seem simplistic as well, lending to the "I've heard this story before" sense of cliche.
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