[otnemem]

Vomit girl: So what happened exactly?

OP: Well, you started throwing up in the bathroom, so I followed you in. It was really cute. You had your hair all back and vomit was just flooding out of your mouth. You had that look in your eye where you sort of knew you were missing the bowl and instead getting it all over the seat and floor, but you didn't really care. I totally admire that in person.

Vomit girl: Hahahahaha, that's completely hilarious. What wonderul circumstances under which to meet a suitor.

OP: That's what I said when I told a bunch of strangers about it on a message board! They just didn't see the humor in the situation. That's another thing I like about you. You really get me. Like when your head was in the toilet, and I slowly creaked the bathroom door open so you didn't hear me enter behind you, but then my boot accidentally splattered in a puddle of vomit three feet from the bowl. You heard it and turned to me, but then halfway around you must have gotten the spins because next thing I know your face is inches from the water again. I LOVE that about you!