Facebook Douchebaggery
so this kid in my class won't shut up about poker so I facebooked him to see if he had pokerstars listed as his employer like a lot of these d'bags do. well he didn't. but he had tourney updates listed in his status:
"Dave is in 7th with 30 to go."12:13am
"Dave is in first [censored] place. Hold up!!"12:27am
"Dave is down to fourth... but now there's just 19 donks
left."12:43am
"Dave is at the final table."1:29am
"Dave is 6th place. AA vs 88... why the [censored] would he
win?"1:43am
and listed his note bragging about making a big dumb scene like the usual frat boy would in a live game.
"(If you have never played Texas Hold'em poker, this note won't make any sense)
So, I was playing at the MGM Grand's finest $1-$2 no-limit Texas Hold'em table, and, after about 2 hours, was sitting about even, when I get dealt Ace-King of spades on the button. Two guys limp, I raise to $12, and one guy--from now on, Crazy Asian Guy--calls. The flop comes down Ah9s2c, a good flop for me. Crazy Asian checks, I bet $15, he calls. Turn card is the 6 of spades, which gives me a potential nut flush draw. Crazy Asian checks again, I bet $20, and fully expect him to fold. However, he surprises me by just flat-calling again. Turn card comes and it's the Jack of spades, which gives me the nuts with an ace-high flush. Crazy Asian guy--after two straight check-calls--surprises the hell out of me by betting $20 (in 20 $1 dollar chips... remember this, it's important)! At this point, there are only two possible hands he can have: Either AJ (so the jack gave him two pair) or pocket jacks (so the jack gave him trips). Since I have the nuts, I don't really care either way; I'm just thrilled he's betting.
At this point, my only question is how can I get as much money as possible out of him. I doubt he'll call a huge re-raise with the 3-flush on the table, even if he has trips. On the other hand, I'm almost sure he'll call if I just reraise it to $40...but I'm pretty sure I can get a little more out of him. I'm close to just putting $50 in the middle, when I decide to get tricky and do the greatest move in the history of poker.
I let out a big sigh, and start acting like I might fold my hand. I go back-and-forth, and start calling out his possible hands ("You called all the way down with Ace-Jack?" etc). Finally, I say "OK, I'll pay you off" and count off 20 chips... 20 of my 5 dollar chips, so I'm actually re-raising him to $100. I count them out, throw them in the middle, and say "I just have the ace; you have two-pair, right?" and show him my ace of spades (but not the king, of course!). Crazy Asian Guy doesn't show, of course; instead, he looks at the dealer and says "He just raised it, right?". Dealer says yes, and at this point I get pissed.
"What are you talking about? I just called his $20." Dealer points out that I put out 20 $5 chips, and I start complaining again: "But I never said 'raise'! If I don't verbalize a raise, it's just a call!" Dealer informs me that that's not the policy, and I say "This is [censored]. Where's the pit boss?" He calls the pit boss over, I plead my case, the Pit Boss confirms the dealer's decision, and I sit back in my chair with a pissed off look on my face, mutter "such [censored]" under my breath.
Crazy Asian Guy thinks about it for like half a second and calls. I turn over the nuts, and he throws his cards off the table (ace-jack, as I thought) and calls me an [censored] and says he hopes I burn in hell. I grab the now almost $300 pot and give him my biggest [censored]-eating grin.
Poker is so much fun."
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