[plaster8]

I was working at a small-town newspaper about 10 years ago when the city got its first strip club. Decades ago, this city had a bunch of brothels, etc., so the "return of the red-light district" was a big deal. Naturally, the newspaper wanted to cover it, and they sent me.

They gave me some cash (I don't really remember how much it was, but this club was not expensive) and sent me in. My friends thought I had the greatest job in the world -- especially when you combine this assignment with the time the police got me hammered to practice sobriety-test training.

Anyway, in allowing the club to open, the city had come up with a bunch of regulations -- the dancers were on a stage and the patrons were all in individual booths with plexiglass between them and the dancers. There was a slot to slide money through to the stage if you wanted an "up-close-and-personal" dance. The booths were kind of creepy -- I'm glad I was the first customer in the place.

I think it's safe to say the dancers were not on a level you'd find at any big-city club. Two or three were dancing at any given time, and I immediately felt sorry for them. So I shoved the money the paper gave me into the booth's slot. They unfortunately interpreted this as my desire to have them dance right in front of my booth. That was not good.

And you could hear the dancers talking to each other about the other customers -- "That guy looks bored," one said (possibly about me).

All in all, it was the worst strip club I've ever been to. It lasted about six months if I remember correctly. But at least I got paid to go!