[EricW]

So anyways, I'm sure you all know that I'm trying different things this time around so everyday is a new experience for me. I dunno how I feel about these new experiences though. On one hand, I really want to learn about humans, but on the other, I'm just so shy and disgusting looking that I feel like I'm drained each day.

Anyways, this is a 2 part story with an important serious question near the end.


Part One:

This morning, I rushed to my bus and saw some chick there with quite the butter face. I thought nothing of it because even though I'm a real life version of Kirk, I'm quite picky.

So I stood around with my head phones on, listening to the Rocky IV soundtrack trying to get pumped up for the day and then all of a sudden, she asks me if I go to UBC as well. I thought: "Oh [censored], this is a 1.5 hour bus ride, do I have to talk to this girl for the whole time?"

So while I was thinking that, my penis moved a little because I saw her chest. She had big boobs. Her face is not so bad that only a mother can love it, but I wouldn't be proud of it. Anyways, because of the slight penis movement, I decided to continue on.

So while we were talking, I realized that the ways of the Russians are quite different from the ways of the N. Americans. She had only been here for 4 years so she's probably not accustomed our ways. This was apparent in oone of our exchanges: She started asking me where I lived and I gave her an ambiguous answer. Then she started to press. I gave a little more detailed, yet ambiguous answer. She then asked me for my house number. I realize that this may be the norm for Russians, but I was slightly uncomfortable. Nonetheless, I told her and she told me and she's just 2 houses away from me.

While talking, my penis did move slightly for the whole convo. I was thinking "hmmmm she's probably lonely, perhaps I can try to move the penis movement in my pants to some penis movement into her vagine. But then I had a terrifying thought: If she's so unaccostomed to our ways, what happens if she had a very hairy vagine? I'm not a fan of those even though I've never seen a vagine in real life.

Anyways, our convo lasted for the whole 1.5 hours without any awkward pauses are stopages. What does this mean? I don't know. But if anything happens with the potentially hairy vagine, I'll let you guys know.


Part Two: Triumphant Again!

So in my last class of the day (not socio), I'm with the German chick (who's SRSLY an 8+ and most likely out of my league). Also, a good thing about this class is that a dude from my high school is also in my class. This guy is a cool guy unlike me so by default, it makes me look cooler.

Yesterday after the socio class, I ran into her when I was talking to some other chick I knew. I told the German that I'd look for her in class today so we had a decent exchange.

Today, before class, I saw her when I was trying to look cool with the guy I know. I went up to her and we started talking. We talked when I was in class. Things were natural and good even though I had no idea what I was doing because interacting with the humans is foreign to me.

Anyways, the prof asked for 2 volunteers to help demonstrate an experiment. This was a lecture size class so there's about 100 people. Going up to the front was extremely nerve racking but since I'm trying different things, I bravely put up my arm and she called me down. While walking down, I was thinking of the Rocky IV songs to try and pump me up. Unfortunately, I was thinking of "Bad Connection" (a love song) on there so I wasn't really pumped.

Anyways, the experiment called for an "experimenter" and a subject. The experimenter was to squirt various solutions onto the tip of the subject's mouth while the subject is blind folded. Upon hearing this when I was at the front of the class I said loudly: "Ummm do you want me to wash my hands? I mean they're kinda clean but since I'm putting stuff in someone's mouth... I have some hand sanitizer in my bag"

Upon hearing the first few words, there was a burst of laughter. I felt a rush of manhood going through my veins.

A hot, big bossomed blonde girl volunteered to be the subject. The prof told me to be careful and not get it all over the girl's shirt. She had a really low cut shirt so all I was thinking of was her nice bossoms. The girl even said: "please try not to get any on me!" Upon hearing what the girl said I spoke out: "Don't worry, I'll be gentle [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]" which induced a loud laugh from everyone.

Throughout the experiment, I told her to stick out her tongue out more, to lean back etc all with slight sexual innuendos. People laughed.

---------------

So this is great, I have projected to the German that i'm a "affable", "popular" guy when in fact, I'm just like Kirk.

Here's a few questions:

The German has yet to mention a boyfriend or fiance or whatever. She did tell me that she moved here a few years ago because she was serious with her ex. Here's the confusing part when I look on her finger where you wear the wedding rings, she has two rings, neither of which are traditional 1 large diamond rings that most married women wear. She has 1 silver ring on that finger, and another one that crosses it with small diamonds running across the whole ring.

Is she engaged? How the [censored] can I find out? I don't want to waste my time with her if I have no chance at all.

Also, that hot chick who did the experiment with me sits on the other side of class. How do I go about talking to her when the German always sits with me?


edit: subject was blind folded during experiment