[bonds]

X Post from Sporting Events:

Best possible things to hope for after the September 1 soul crushing defeat of epic proportions:

1. Henne starts channeling Rex Grossman, says "[censored] it I'm going deep" twenty times a game, throws 6 TDs a game against OTHER TEAMS' crappy pass defenses -- I'm looking at you, Minnesota.

1b. Shawn Crable says "[censored] it I'm blitzing on every play", winds up with 44 sacks.

2. Oregon is so overconfident after hearing about the results that they miss their bus to the airport.

3. Notre Dame is really as bad as they appeared to be against GT, they score only 3 points against Michigan's Division III quality defense (wooo just insulted Division III), Weis adds several gallons of beer to his daily intake of 20 lbs of chicken wings, literally explodes sometime late in the season.

4. Eastern Michigan tries to run the spread with undersized slow white guys and throws enough interceptions to keep the score close.

5. Ron Zook starts punting on first down, gets fired, half the Illinois roster transfers to Florida, the other half transfers to Illinois State. Roster filled with volunteers and band members, Michigan squeaks out 6-0 win.

6. Michigan State is undefeated going into November, loses at home in finest John L Smith fashion 99-98 in 12 overtimes to that team that couldn't beat a I-AA opponent.

7. Ohio State students decide to get the looting and drunken orgies underway before the first snap, resulting in live television coverage of boooobs instead of football.