[KurtSF]

Somehow, airports always seem to bring out the worst.

This was on United, shortly after 9/11 and shortly after I got married. So everyone was a litle tense at the airport, plus we were in that awkward in-between time when att of my wife's IDs didn't match. The plane ticket and our credit cards were in her new name. I had my DL and passport, my wife had her DL with her old name, her birth cirtificate, and our marriage liscence showing we were married. I called the airline and TSA before our trip to make sure this ID was sufficient, and was reassured by everyone that it was. I bet you can guess where this is going. We fly from SFO to Chicago no problem, then Chicago to ALB, spend a week with family, then get on the flight from ALB to Chicago. Last leg of the trip, we're almost home!

We've gone through security, we just got off another United flight, and at the gate the gate agent says to my wife "Sorry, this ID doesn't match the ticket. You can't board the plane." I had already had my ticket ripped and was about to go down the jetway, but now they wouldn't let my wife on the plane. I say to the gate agent "I know, but its OK, we have the birth cirtificate and marriage license."

"Doesn't matter, she can't baord the plane."

I explain, patiently at this point, about how I called TSA and United and both said the ID was OK, and about how every other gate agent from this same airline thought it was OK, and how we, in fact, just 30 minutes prior got off a United flight.

"She cannot fly without proper ID."

Now I'm getting angry. "But she has proper ID!" People are starting to stare.

"Look, I'm a supervisor, and I can tell you that there is no chance that she will get on a flight to San Francisco on this airline."

For [censored] sake! Nightmare images are flying through my head about having to rent a car or take a bus, missing work, etc, etc. This is where it gets positivly surreal. The gate agent has asked us numerous times to step out of line so others could board the flight, so now, staring at each other in disbelief trying to piece together what was happening, my wife and I step back toward the waiting area. The gate gent pipes up again "Sir, your're already checked in, you have to board the plane. If you don't get on the plane its a violation of FAA regulation and I'll have to call an Air Marshal."

Slackjawed, I'm pretty sure these are the exact words I uttered: "First of all, your crazy if you think I'm getting on a plane without my wife, and second, could you please call the Air Marshals. Maybe they will striahgten you out."

"You have to get on the plane, sir."

As matter of fact as possible I say "I'm not getting on without my wife." She gets it and goes to the podium, uses the phone for a couple seconds, then returns and asks us to wait by the podium for the Air Marshals to arrive. We do, and she continues taking tickets from the other passengers. It takes like 20 miutes and 2 g-men in suits show up. The gate agent pulls them asside for a second to tell them something, then they take us into an area that has been curtained off for searches. They check our ID, ask us a few questions about where we are going and why, then they unpack all of our carry on luggage and go through everything. With our clothes spread through the whole terminal, they say "have a nice flight," and leave.

Evil gate agent is gone, and we get on the plane without incident. At this point it dawns on me what just happened. The evil [censored], at some point, realized how bat-[censored] insane she was being, and told the Air Marshals that we were randomly selected for a security check, and there was no mention of why she wasn't going to let us fly. To top is off, the crazy gate agent was a flight attendant on the flight, and spent the entire time avoiding my wife and I. She wouldn't make eye contact. When she came around for drink service (no more meals on planes) she skipped me!!! Everyone else got drinks, I had to ring the attendant call and get someone else to bring me a drink. She said "buh-bye now" to everyone getting off the flight, but convieniently had other business to attend to just as my wife and I exited the plane.

Let me tell you, if ever I was motivated to do violent bodily harm to anyone, it was that [censored].

I hate flying. Thanks for letting me share my horror story.