FFK:
http://www.strongwomen.com/fitness.htm
I'd recommend buying one of her books...Strong Women Stay Young would probably be the best. (Although you might look through Strong Women Stay Slim and see if the extra stuff like the eating program interests you. I prefer the exercises in the original though.) The books have a lot more info than the site.
The exercises are simple and well explained, can be done at home, and ramp up assuming that you are very weak now to actual strength training. Yes you start with the 1 lb neoprene girlie weights, just until you learn proper form, and work your way up to true strength training, not that "toning" stuff.
She also specifically addresses some of your concerns about getting too bulky. It's much harder for us to "bulk up" then the guys. Even when I was being completely 100% dedicated and at my strongest, I never looked "muscular"...but when flexed my upper arm I got this great definition. I liked that. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
I should start this again actually.