[knowledgeORbust]

A little background on myself: my parents were in a "loveless marriage" for several years while I was growing up. Probably from the time I was 8-12 years old. My parents actually still loved one another on some level, never fought physically nor really got into extremely heated arguments. My dad was an alcoholic - he quit cold turkey while my sister and I were small children, but started again as we grew up. My mom slept in a different room and my Dad kept almost exclusively to himself and to my sister and I. Eh, I don't want to give my life story or anything, just a gist, as all family situations are different dynamically.

Anyhow, I frequently describe myself as "avoiding commitment," and while I like to view that as a good thing sometimes, it's also kind of a lonely existence. I'm not quite as much of a recluse as my father was, but I'm not exactly a social butterfly either. My take is that I would have been better off if my parents split, and each tried to fulfill their lives as much as possible. I went through too much of my mom struggling while my dad sat around, lonely and inhibited; blah.

I spend lots of time pondering my life, behavior, and why I am the way I am. It's difficult work trying to "un-condition" yourself or whatever. I don't want to drastically change or anything, but I think I'd be happier without the "loveless marriage." I have friends with truly happy families, and it's always a shock for me to see them function so well.

I could probably have expressed myself better, but Blarg's post pretty much sums it up.