God I hate soccer.
But every time it's brought up, I think of the Simpsons:
"The Continental Soccer Association is coming to Springfield! It’s all here: fast-kicking, low scoring…and ties? You bet! This match will determine once and for all which nation is the greatest on earth: Mexico or Portugal!"
Also, the difference between American soccer announcers and foreign announcers:
Brockman (bored): Halfback passes to the center. Back to the wing. Back to the center. Center holds it. Holds it. Holds it…
Mexican Announcer (wetting his pants): HALFBACK PASSES TO CENTER!! BACK TO WING!! BACK TO CENTER!! HOLDS IT!! HOLDS IT!! HOLDS IT!!!