[amplify]

slim,

I am sorry to hear of your misfortune. I know that a revelation like this from someone who you have trusted is devastating. You want to hurt her. You don't care who you hurt, you just want to lash out in retribution for the pain that you feel. You want to know every detail, who is he, what does he do, why does she need him when she has you, what do they talk about, everything.

Stop it. Just stop it right now. Forget about her email. If she leaves her computer unattended with the email logged in don't read it. If she prints them out and hands them to you don't read them. You'll just be torturing yourself, and this is the time when you need to be at your best, not your worst.

It's her. You are not deficient in some meaningful way. You are not flawed. She chose to lie to you because of her. Now make sure that you do not waste time lying to yourself.