[polyviewness]

sorry if there already is one....but if there is not im getting the ball rolling just keep on adding if you know any.........

A man is sitting at a diner counter when another guy takes the stool next to him. He notices that the guy has a long duffel bag and asks what's inside.
"It's my sniper rifle," he says. "I'm a profesional hitman."
"No way!" says the first guy. "Mind if I take a look through the scope? I think I can see my house from here." The hitman nods and hands over his gun.
"This is amazing. I can see right into the window of my house," says the first guy. "There's my wife in the bedroom. And she's naked. Wait... there's my neighbor! Bastard! How much do you charge for a hit?"
"Flat price," says the sniper. "One thousand dollars per a shot."
"Well here's a check for two thousand," says the guy. "I want you to shoot both of them: my wife in the head and my neighbor in the dick. That should teach them."
The sniper takes the rifle, aims, then stands still for a few moments.
"You gonna shoot them or what?"
"Give me a minute," says the hitman. "I think I can save you a grand."