One thing I've noticed is that so far (including my own choices) there haven't been many books listed written by women.
If you want to get into their head and perhaps later into bed it's not such a bad idea to get an idea of the way they think and look at the world through their contemporary fiction.
Anne Tyler is probably my favorite recent woman author. She seems to have extraordinary insight into ordinary situations and people. I'd start with "The Accidental Tourist" but "Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant" and "A Slipping-Down Life" and "Breathing Lessons" and "Saint Maybe" also would be good choices.
Amy Tan is also very good.
Come to thing of it this is probably worth a thread of its own (but may be better placed on The Lounge where some thinking, smart women seem to post).
~ Rick