Cliff notes: I win a 90BB pot as a 3:2 dog at a table filled with very dumb people who are poor.
I'm cashing out at the Borgata for this week and as I'm leaving the cage I realize I have all hundreds and a single one dollar bill. The $1 is good because Jersey gas stations are full service and if they clean my windows I give the guy or girl a dollar.
However, I'm not Black Label at the Borgata and there's a $5 parking fee when you leave. Realize that I never use cash for anything except gambling, and that breaking a hundred dollar bill in to all types of crap I don't care about is going to piss me off bad.
So I'm thinking about what to do, I bought a friend dinner last night and I know he'd give me $5 for a week, but he's gone and I can't find him. I don't have any forgotten money anywhere in my car or bag anything, and I really don't know what to do at all.
1-2 NL was open seating. If I pick up the blinds twice I have enough for parking plus an extra dollar to give to the dealer.
I buy in for $95 and put a red chip in my pocket(genius), I tell the dealer all green is fine, she gives me a kind of weird look and I just smile.
She tells me I can come in in one hand.
I post UTG anyways. Which isn't as good as UTG1 because now stealing the blind on the second hand only nets me $1 which still isn't enough.
So I post UTG, look down to 72o, push, everyone folds, and I show my hand because whenever you make some stupid bluff at 1-2NL you have to show the table so everyone knows how good you are.
Some guy says "Well, that's one way to make three dollars." I go 'yep, just need to do it once more and I'm outta here don't worry.'
"Why?"
"I need Five dollars for parking when I leave here."
Some people kinda laugh.
Next hand I post my BB, UTG is contemplating a call, presumably because he knows he's going to be faced with a $98 bet in about 10 seconds. He mucks and I say "Good fold." and chuckle or whatever.
He looks at me with an awkward face and says "Dude were you looking at my cards?" YES.
So some guy who decides that having long hair is all right on a guy raises to $15 and I have 8[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] 7[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] Everyone folds to me and I go all in. He insta-calls and turns over what I thought was AA for a brief moment, only to realize it was some raggy A
iamond: K[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]
I turn my hand up.
Board:
8[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] 3[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] 2[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] J[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img](People start to gasp) 2[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] and I say "Two pair" just so he knows what just happened.
Kid FLIPS OUT.
UNBELIEVABLE [censored] UNBELIEVABLE, WHAT ARE THE ODDS
FIFTY FIFTY YOU EITHER WIN OR YOU LOSE MAN
WHAT?!?!?! HOW DO YOU CALL THERE WITH 87
Dude are you kidding me? You just saw me push 72o, did you expect me to fold? Honestly? I rack up, throw the dealer a dollar and the entire table is just completely blown away at my disrespect for ninety-eight dollars. Girl in the 8 seat who has hair like Mrs. Brady that I'd [censored] anyways says "That's the worst beat I've seen in a looooong time" and I just erupt in laughter and walk away.
I'm so pro.