[Vehn]

wow this is crazy bad.

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Maybe this was a fumble on my part, but what I end up deciding we'll do is go to the office picnic together (our office hosts a picnic for its employees and their families twice a year, sort of a get to know your co-workers kind of thing). For some reason I thought it’d be more relaxed than a typical first date, but the down side is not as much alone time and maybe it doesn’t have quite the romantic feel I should be going for?

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This is awful, these are work people, don't do this to a girl you work with.

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Day of the picnic arrives and I get over to her apartment complex to pick her up, knock on door, and some random guy opens it. I’m thinking wtf who is this guy, this can’t be her boyfriend, she does know this is a date, right? Well of course I keep my composure as the guy says to me “Oh hey you must be John, Cathy’ll be ready any minute, she just got outta the shower.” So I sit and make small talk with this Ron guy for a few minutes, never quite building up the confidence to ask him what the [censored] he's doing here. Eventually Cathy is ready and we leave.

In the car the following conversation takes place:

Me: So, Ron seems like a nice guy.
Her: Yeah he is. He’s the best.
Me: You two roommates?
Her: No, not really.
Me: Oh.

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How hard is it to ask the guy "so... how do you know cathy?". How hard is it in the car to say "so he's your husband then?" and laugh.

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Anyway we get to a moment where I’m obviously supposed to kiss her so I lean in. It goes well for about one tenth of one second until I feel her start to pull away; she follows this with a “no no, I can’t kiss you, it will ruin our friendship.” She mentions something about a boyfriend who recently moved away then sort of goes back to looking at the clouds as if nothing has happened. She starts to name animals that the clouds resemble, asking if I see it too. I sort of nod yes but I don’t really see any of it.

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If you're not feeling a good vibe don't push it or at least just start by holding her hand or something and see what she does. After the "friendship" line just say "oh I thought was like a date date". If she blows you off then thats that, go hang out with your coworkers.

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Eventually I drive her back to her place. The car ride is mostly silent. I turn on the radio to hopefully avoid small talk, but she doesn’t seem interested in talking either so it's fine. She starts to get out of the car, stops mid way, and sort of touches my shoulder as she says “please please don’t hate me, I hope we can still be friends.” I gave her a polite nod and said “yeah of course. have a good weekend” before making my retreat.

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about the only thing you did good, just because it didn't work out with this girl doesn't mean you have to burn bridges or get all pissed.

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I don’t especially care to see this girl on Monday, but there doesn’t seem to be any way around that. I suppose I could quit, but leaving the highest salaried job I’ve had since college just to avoid months or maybe years of awkward conversation seems a bit much. I'll probably just ignore her for the time being. I don't get why every girl I even attempt to like immediately puts me in the friend zone. Didn't she realize I was asking her out on a date? Why does she feel I'm so unqualified as boyfriend material while well suited for the friend role? And who the [censored] is Ron?

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Its just some b---- no need to change your life or get down about it at all, just pretend nothing happened - it didn't work out, no big deal. Apparently she didn't feel an attraction to you and didn't want to hurt your feelings by turning you down, girls do this all the time. Ron is a guy who's banging her i.e. not you.