[Praxising]

I have to congratulate you, Greg. When seized by an impulse of self-directed rage, instead of getting drunk and wrapping yourself around a tree, or some other guy on the road, you just donked off a massive amount of money that wasn't even yours, yet. (I never consider online money mine until it's in my bank account.) So, you choose a creative and essentially non-destructive way of killing yourself. This is a GOOD thing. Seriously.

I don't know why people have this trait - not a shrink or anything. I do know it can be related to bipolar disorder, I know it can be from crapola in your background. There's plenty of bankroll management advice - but I think you know it all, already. Therapy might be useful for you. Tell you what though - you have hope. You even have surety. You know something: if you choose to, you can get it back.

So - hmmmmmm. Maybe not a very useful thing until you do what I have heard so many poker pros talk about: give yourself permission to win. Figure out why you keep shooting yourself in the foot and try, scary tho' it is, to succeed. Decide it's ok - you deserve to have success as much as anyone. I've heard this from everyone from Phil Gordon to Johnny Chan to Daniel Negreanu.

How many final tables have you seen where as soon as it starts, some guy with a nice stack just donks it off and gets eliminated? This is a pretty common issue. Women do this by marrying as****** who beat the crap out of them. Guys do it by getting arrested, overdosing, losing job after job or going through millions in their lifetime.

You can fix this. Cymbalta works, sometimes. You'll figure it out.