[katyseagull]

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If you say whatcha doing tomorrow or on the weekend or whatever, you are in a way asking her about her social and sexual viability, because many women/girls feel bad about looking like they have nothing to do, even to strangers. They can think of that as a sign of a peculiarly and particularly feminine kind of failure, and can be judged that way by their girlfriends, too. So sometimes they might even lie and make stuff up just to sound more popular. Stuff that you don't want to hear and that gets you nowhere, like -- they're busy or even have a boyfriend. Of course, they may lie and say they're busy because they don't like you, as well, or even really have a boyfriend(this won't stop a lot of girls who like you anyway), but that's just a couple of an array of reasons you might ask that question innocently and find yourself shut out. Remember too, when a girl asks another girl that question, it might not be that innocent. You're pointing a loaded gun at a girl when you ask her if she's got time free for you at the drop of a hat.

So instead of putting her in the position of being rejectable, be a gentleman about it(kinda sucks I know) and a man about it(doesn't suck and is kinda cool once you get used to it) and put her in the position of rejecting you. Taking the pressure off her is a better way to make her comfortable and open. Ask her out, or just to come with, whatever.

And don't put it indirectly in a way that's potentially insulting when you do. Don't say, "Hey, if you're not busy, let's go to ..." or "Hey, I wanna go catch that new Simpsons movie, and if you've got nothing better to do ...." You don't need any qualifiers(it makes you look like a hesitating wimp) and neither does she(it makes her look like a loser).

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Wow, excellent post Blarg. Solid advice.