[Chump Change]

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Beat: Got pulled over for going 85 in a 60 (with construction work).
Beat: Was really high after having just smoked four bowls of Purple Haze in the car with my friend the passenger (and the car's owner).
Beat: You can smell the weed outside the car even if none has been smoked.
Beat: When asked by the officer why he pulled me over, I told him "because I had been swerving while trying to figure out which exit I needed to take."
Beat: When he said "No, you were doing 85 in a 60 mph/hr work zone where tickets and points are doubled", I said "Oh, [censored]!"
Beat: My friend did not have his registration for the car, nor his proof of insurance.

Brag: Cop gave me a $215 ticket for speeding.
Brag: Cop waived the doubling of the ticket and of the points on my license.
Brag: Completely ignored the overpowering stench of pot, my terrible driving, and my general retarded behavior.

Variance: I end up blowing $215 on Stars every Sunday anyway, I'll just pretend they had a Tuesday Mill or something.

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Its not the times you crash into a bridge that matter, but the times you and your kind goes headon into a family in the other car. Playing with your own life is just natrual selection at its finest. Playing with everybody elses is a good argument for hoping it is a hell somewhere.

Arthur Dent

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This one time and this is a true story this one time I was hanging out with michael jordan and he smoked some of this joint a guy gave him and then we decided to play 1 on 1 and I totally smoked his butt and shut him out like 5 games in a row and it was cool but I didn't feel that proud cuz I knew that the joint made him as helpless as a comatose infant so it's a good thing he didn't try driving home cuz compared to basketball man that is tough!