[Blarg]

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to be clear, i dont drink more than once every other week. To say i could "drink my life away" is false. i think my main problem with everything is that i just dont handle frustration very well. When i get frustrated, at some point i just turn off all logic and just think about how angry i am and cant focus on anything else. it sucks.

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Pot, booze, it's all the same thing. It's a retreating, defensive action. That uneasiness you have when alone at the end of the day can be your friend or your enemy, but by looking to escape, you're turning your basic life force into your enemy.

It's natural to feel ill at ease or a little antsy when you don't have positive things taking up that energy. But stifling it with dope every day until you can stand being in the world or with yourself alone isn't the best solution. If you're really busy doing something that matters to you, you won't have that feeling, and the time will fly. Maybe you need to find something positive to do, so you can use your energy up in a good way instead of stifling it or ignoring it. That way, free time becomes profit, instead of threat and grim reminder.