[RollTideTyler]

BEAT:

So my girl, her friend, and I drive down to the shore where i have a house for the weekend. We get there around 3am and pull into the driveway. We decide to check out the beach before going into the house since it was a real nice night out and we had a cooler of beer already to go.

We are on the beach for no more than 10min when i hear my car alarm going off back at the house. Couldn't really tell if it was mine for sure, but it was comming from the direction of my house so it definitely caught my attention enough to go see. The house is in a small, very quiet, and nice area. The driveway is well lit.

Sure enough we get back and my window has been smashed with a brick, and all the valuables in the car are gone. The girls are freaking out, and i call the police instantly because i was lucky enough to have my cell in my pocket and not left in the car.

Since it is a small town, the entire police force on duty that night is there in under 2min, and are instantly spread out to look for the guy who did it. Crime is so low in this area that this is apparently a huge deal.

About 30min go by and one cop is with us taking down our info. I am on the phone with my bank trying to cancel my cards, thinking that i will never see my stuff again because my home town is much larger and a crime like this isnt taken as seriously so the effort put into finding the guy would have been almost nothing. Besides the annoyance of losing my license, credit cards, personal things in the wallet etc...i had just gotten paid and had a large amount of cash on me, so i wasnt happy.

So this guy walks by, looks like an old drunk, and asks whats going on. I briefly say our car got broken into. He asks if anything was taken. When i mention one of the girls purses, he turns to the cop and says i need to talk to you because we found a purse with a lot of cash in it in a trash can on our street after some kid threw some stuff in there.

So some time goes by and the cops come back with a kid in custody and the majority of our stuff. It was some punk we saw walking on the street on our way in. He had ditched some of the girls belongings in the ocean he admitted, but my wallets and everything in it was there.

BRAG:
The punk is close enough to me with the cop where he can see me giving him a look like if there wasnt a few cops between us right now i would be roasting you in a grease fire. The punk opens his mouth to talk some [censored] because he is drunk and an idiot. I respond by digging deep and producing the best projectile spit i have ever summoned in my entire life. It landed right on the side of his mouth, partially getting some in the mouth.

I had been calm during this entire ordeal, so one of the cops simply stepped between us to make sure i wouldnt hurt him, but he saw i wasnt going to do anything like that and then joined his other cop buddies in laughter as this kid now had a giant mouthful of my spit on his face and in his mouth that he couldnt get rid of because he hands were behind his back.

Further BRAG: At the police station, our money was given back to us...and it was MORE money than we had lost. We were vague in our descpritions of how much money total was in the car, i wasnt even sure exactly how much was in my wallet, i estimated to the closest $100. So this punk obviously had some money on him before he broke into my car...SHIP IT

BEAT: Car broken into, beach trip and sexy time ruined.

BRAG: Caught guy, spit in his mouth while he was in custody and he couldnt get it off his mouth/face because he was in custody. Cops laughed at him

BRAG: Ended up with more money because we also got the money he had on him before the robbery...he will also be paying for the window

Variance? He was on probation and is a thin little punk, so i enjoy knowing he will be someones bitch when he goes back to jail