[Ship Ship McGipp]

So last night at 4am I find out that my boy made Day 4 above average, so I'm like whatever ship the 8am flight I'll be there before the tournament starts. Flight is only 500 bucks and I'm like whatever it's 500 [censored] dollars. I get there with the crew, we're all kind of stoked, he's fairly deep and confident.

He gets above 600k, ill advised 3-ball, drops to 300k when this hand happens @ 5-10k 1k:

CO opens to 30k, he flats behind with AA because the blinds are squeezy. Blinds fold.

Flop 9 7 5.
CO check, my boy bets 40k, CO call.

Turn 9.
CO check, my boy bets 90k, CO GOES ARR ENN but my boy beats him into the pot.

River 6 which makes his 88 plenty good, one time one of us is going to make our 38 outer.

GG him cash for 51k or whatever and shpi me 4%.

We [censored] around for a while and do nothing, eat Bellagio buffet, meet a couple 2+2ers that we've met before and a couple we haven't.

Strip clubs at night obv, so we find 18+ ones since we're both 20 and no fake IDs. We go to this Cherri's place or something, cab driver recommends it, that [censored] idiot.

Worst [censored] strip club ever.

All the ugly chicks come up to me, but I'm not having any of that. One girl takes me in the back for the tour, says 450 for 15 minutes to which I say "LOL you must think I'm real stupid" but smile. GG her buh bye.

I wait around 30 minutes turn down the uggos and their fat friends, finally petitie McPetiterson with the Perkyshmerky boobaramas walks by, I'm like [censored] this waiting for the girls that got hit by the ugly bus, time to take some initiative and ask the hot one where the funs at (real bad idea, huge beat having to ask a stripper for a private dance, somehow I'm a strip club noob sonofagawdamnbitch.

So we ship to the private area she says $225 for a half hour, I'm like [censored] that's like a light four bet in an inappropriate spot, I do that enough to get grinded on for thirty minutes. So she's like money up front I'm like "here take it and run bitch," only I didn't actually say that.

She comes back in 5 minutes with some water and is like, "you wanna have more fun?" I'm like what are we talking about here girlie I just paid you enough to be real friendly with me for a very long time, you're too needy to be greedy. She says if I tip her I'll get to touch, etc. I'm like WTF, okay, I will tip you well. She's like, "we tip beforehand." I'm like nobody tips beforehand, where the [censored] are you from? I'm like what kind of tip are we talking about?

"$400"

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LL

Not even for sex get the [censored] out of here who the [censored] you think I am I might be horny but I'm not dumb, go suck a fat babies dick.

She prolly didn't do that but she negotiates more "Well, you're not a baller like some of the older guys that com.."

Gawdamnit, she challenged my wallet. [censored].

Obv I'm like LOL you have no idea, get to grindin' and we'll see what kind of tip you get...

She's like, can you do 250?

I'm like, I'll throw in a hondy.

She's like, 200.

I'm like, 1, if you're lucky.

She's like, 150.

I'm like fine bitch you pay me money because you're in the presence of ae [censored] jones.

So we settle on 100.

She starts riding me hard and grinding like crazy, mad dry humping, basically squishing my balls, hurts like hell. I'm like "take it easy baby these don't regenerate." So she eases up and is doing a pretty good job, her body is v nice probably an 8 or 9, and her face compliments it well. Whatever, I'm spending like 75% of my time making sure that I'll be able to have babies when this is all over. Finally, after she is suggestively pushing my hands away from her tatas, I'm like watch me work the magic, it's a [censored] stripper if I can't do something about this I've officially turned into one of you 2+2 online poker nerds (and that would be a sad day). So finally I start like tickling her, and she's like "you're making me feel good now." I'm like ship ship mcgipp bitch no laday can withstand that. Her nipples jolt out like torpedoes from the Hunt for Red October and now they're in my face, doubly nice.

Still, what a waste. The 30 minutes goes by quick, and I realize this is really gay 325 dollars is too [censored] much money... and then I snap back to reality, it's just 325 [censored] dollars, it's like a river check raise went awry.

Finally, I get done with the private VIP [censored], say good riddens to this bitch, and my boy James had the same thing for 30 minutes... turns out he got owned twice as hard. He paid the same for everything with no touching! AHAHAHA.

[censored] strip clubs.