[psyduck]

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How about they just record what the reader says?

"The guy in seat 2 is named Mike, he folded." okay
"Mike scrunched his eyebrows when the flop came out." okay
"Mike's probably got you beat." no.

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Jack....I hope you are kidding.
I would love to be able to enter a tourney and have someone concentrate on player reaction while I crunch numbers. Tell ya what. I'll play you heads up with my eyes closed the whole time but I get to have someone whispering to me the whole time following your rules of what is OK and what is not.
Sound good?

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Wow I'm getting to this thread late but you are a [censored] joke. "Crunch numbers," huh? Yeah there are some pretty heavy-duty computations that have to happen at the poker table, and it would be a monstrous advantage to be able to focus all your energy on the all-important number crunching.

Also, I can't recall if it was you or some other jagoff who complained about the guy with no arms playing, but I think it's also terrible that we let people with wheelchairs come to the table and make us scoot over. How am I supposed to crunch numbers with these selfish quadriplegics taking up the space reserved for my abacus?

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lolololol owned in the face