[glorfindel]

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He is very frustrated with the financial imbalance and the fact that his wife wants to save all "her" money but doesn't mind him spending "his" money on their day-to-day bills. Lol. When he throws out an idea for their future, either investing or planning a vacation or whatever, she asks him "Is it 100% safe? Is it 100% guaranteed?" Without this guarantee she refuses to go along with his suggestions. He feels sort of like her servant.

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Among Korean spouses there is usually no distinction between "his" or "her" money; it's the families money. However, it is odd that she isn't willing to consider investing for the future, as Korean women are usually sensible about risk/reward investing. I've not had this problem because I'm not a gadget/status person and neither is my wife and we both have similar saving goals.

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He does not understand his role in her life or even how important her role is as the oldest sibling of 3 daughters who is now responsible for elderly parents. He was totally unprepared.

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I predict that this will be a huge problem for him in the future, as the oldest sibling has major responsibilities for her birth family. (Hint: There aren't many nursing homes in Korea.)

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A couple things that SHE told me when I last spoke with her - she said Tom talks too much and it is viewed in her country as poor behavior. She can't stand that he swears at all. Like any swearing is considered very unmannerly.

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Swearing is considered very "low class" behavior in Korea and he should not be doing it if he cares about his image at all. Language is treated quite formally in Korea. For instance, there are different vocabularies and grammars in the Korean language depending on the relationship of the person to whom you're talking (adult-child, boss-employee, friend-friend).

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She shuts down and gives him the cold shoulder for days. When he told her they need to talk things out she obliged him by screaming and throwing things at him.

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Lol. This is typical Korean wife behavior. In fact, Korean men like to joke with other Korean men about their wives' tantrums. This sounds much worse than it is if you learn to shrug it off, as it usually means the problem isn't that serious. He needs to try and subtly talk it out, not overtly. If he tries to badger her during the "cold shoulder" period, it will make it much worse, almost like antagonising a drunk.

His problems are almost all caused by differences between the cultures and will require significant compromise if he wants the marriage to work. His situation is a perfect example of why intercultural marriages should not be undertaken w/o more knowledge and serious consideration than normal, since it's difficult to even imagine some of the scenarios that will occur.