[John Kilduff]

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Good. The second DUI should result in hanging. By the balls.

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I have heard of an alternate suggestion, a punishment for particularly heinous crimes, which is supposedly preferred by certain backwoods types : instead of the dirty-no-good-rat being hanged by them, they are wired to a tree stump. The stump is then set on fire, and the malefactor is handed a razor blade and left in peace to quietly contemplate his decision.

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You don't say.

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Well, so I have heard. Supposedly, the technique originated in some large Southern state.

I have also heard that a certain very prominent politician (who shall remain nameless) once entertained the idea of a similar treatment for known terrorists, the idea being to force them to talk. In this version, the evil-doers were not to be left alone with the razor blade, but were instead flanked by two Fire Marshals, both armed with large water-hoses, who were under strict instruction to put the fire out instantaneously if the evil-doer broke down and decided to talk. Although this method was pushed as being far more effective than waterboarding, I have not been informed that it was actually put into practice.

Thus have I heard.


P.S. I won't tell you other things I have heard, or you might not believe me [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]