[Popinjay]

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I watched your short film, Popinjay. Sorry it took so long.

Here are my thoughts. First off, I liked your film and I'm amazed you shot it in one day. Not bad at all! Not that it doesn't have flaws, but that's pretty impressive for one day's work. I think you have a lot of good ideas. My favorite parts were definitely the beginning and the ending which I thought were really cool and had a unique feel. The opening is very intriguing. I thought maybe he had dropped something down the grate and I was straining to see what it was.

I especially liked the ending and the way you shot it. Just very strong work there. This is where I think you shined. I can see great things in the future for you.

I have two criticisms of your film (please don't get mad! [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] ):

1) the story is not clear from the get go. Is the guy on a college campus? Is he saying "why did I come?" meaning college? It's really not clear to the audience what the setting is supposed to be; and

2) you shoot too up close in the middle of the film and it is pretty dark on You Tube. I really wanted you to pull back. I don't mind some closeups here and there as it adds a certain quality and ambiance. But if everything is super tight in the middle of the film it gets claustrophobic for me and almost feels like you are forcing an idea instead of letting the audience figure things out. Don't know if that makes any sense. Anyway, I'm going to say - please pull back! [img]/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

I would love for your film to have had talking. I really wanted to know what they were saying in that apartment. I think that would have added a texture and reality. I think the fact that I wanted to know what they were saying is evidence that you hooked me. Nice job.

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Wow thanks for your nice comments. I agree with most of what you said and a lot of it was because i filmed this on a $0 budget. it was actually a great experience to do for some reason, real reason was a lot of conflicting factors, and taught me a lot. It's really why I think i can compete on On The Lot, except I gotta learn me some special effects like Will.

Any special effects gurus wanna tell me how to get started???

PS: I haven't shown this film to many people who have critiqued it, practically only my film professor who gave me a B+ (??).