[jeffnc]

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I'm having trouble understanding what Catholicism has to do with any of this.

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Me too. Catholicism doesn't go for this arranged marriage bs.

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This should be a clue for PJ. May's parents are not "traditional Chinese". They're very unusual. Not only are Christians not major proponents of arranged marriages, but Chinese are hardly bastions of the Christian religion. It's a tiny religion in China.

Thus, to answer PJ's question, they are clearly very unusual.

"Stepping up" to try to marry her now would be a very bad idea, IMO.

One option is to suggest she see a good therapist. I really don't think there's anything you can do, hard as that sounds. You have to wait it out. Keep this in mind. Let's say one day the 2 of you are married. What sort of person would you marry? Someone who was able to figure out this tough situation? Someone who catered to your will? Someone who didn't do what her mother asked simply because her mother asked it? Someone who did what her mother asked simply because her mother asked it? Will she hide her feelings from her family because of the pressure? Think of this as a way to learn more about her. It will be a clue as to how she'll manage the rest of her life, including her relationship with you.