Re: Facts about your job that most people don\'t know. . .
Let's see......
1) It's not really an Emergency Room - it's a "the american health system is in the final stages of decay before total breakdown so we'll try to save your ass room, most nights.
2) George Clooney is not the standard for looks, although some of us are strikingly handsome.
3) If you leave a tampon in for three weeks and I have to go get it, it will look fuzzy, brown and smell so bad it'll clear the whole department.
4) All bleeding stops eventually.
5) Nurses and doctors get along just fine...and there's not a lot of extracurricular activity going between them.
6) Hospital coffee tastes awful. We send a runner to Peets.
7) If you lie to me so you can get narcotics, and I give them to you, you didn't fool me. I just didn't give a [censored] - but I know you're a useless piece of [censored].
8) It's not first come first served, no matter how important you think you are, or who you know. I decide who gets seen and when.
9) Doctors don't hate lawyers. It's much stronger than that. The only time I saw every doc in my 44 man group simultaneously happy was when the biggest PI attorney in town came in and was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We won't be sending flowers. Although I may drive on up and laugh at his upcoming funeral.
MM MD
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