[Blarg]

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If a guy was on his cell phone in line at a pizza store and he called my woman a bitch for jumping the que.

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Sounds like he was right, and that you and the girl are a good match.

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blarg,

Im not sure if you are serious, but he was refering to a awesome youtube video.


I like to fight, but I never provoke anyone, at the slightest provocation though I will, usually though its not a real fight though, becuase I dont jaw back and forth, he yaps, I just hit the guy and either he drops or it is broken up so there is only one real punch thrown.

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Yeah, I figured as much, but realized my response worked either way, so let it through.

As to real fighting or more accurately threats to fight, I'm a cut to the chase type too. I'm excellent at avoiding these situations usually though. But it's better to cut things short before people think they've invested too much macho and reputation into the whole process to back down. It's key to give people an honorable out. Most of the time, they don't really want to fight, just bluster and intimidate, or else just sucker punch some guy and walk off. I don't have half an hour to sit around talking at first grade level to some jackass trying to push out his tiny lats so he can think he looks like a cobra and scare me. I'd rather just get it over with or skip it.

I've dealt with a bunch of these things by just putting down what's in my hands, looking the guy in the eye steadily and confidently, not begging and without any malice, just two guys being completely honest kind of a thing, and saying something on the order of, "Look, we probably don't really HAVE to do this, and I'd be just as happy if we didn't, but if you gotta do what you gotta do, it's okay, I understand." Then I kind of shrug, with a slightly grim but accepting expression like I understand where he's at and that the situation has gotten kind of retarded for both of us and we both kind of managed to get ourselves trapped in something probably neither of us thinks is a great idea.

That spreads the blame around, easing his ego, and lets him know that I'm both fully aware of what's going on and not about to be taken by a sucker punch, and confident enough that BOTH of us are going to get hurt that I'm not afraid, because I'll get my fair share of licks in too. Dealing with a guy who's not afraid of you resets the calculus on the whole deal a good bit, and so far has always made guys reconsider. It's tough trying to pull the whole bully/intimidate thing on someone who's less scared than you are.

Combine that with giving them an honorable out of saying back to me something like, "Yeah, well, f*ck it, this is stupid, forget it," or at least the chance to just babble some really pissant stuff and take off in a huff, and most guys won't push it much further. Most guys who want to fight, just fight. The ones trying to talk themselves or someone else into a fight will talk themselves out of one too, if you give them pause and make it easy for them.

The main thing is steering it away from "Who's gonna win?", which just gets people competitive and makes them crazy, and implies that at least one person won't lose, and from "Is this really gonna happen?," which he thinks is a big threat and might even paralyze you. Once you're on the track of "It's a done deal that we're both gonna lose, it's more stupid than scary, and it's more about whether you want to get out of it than whether I do," things often work themselves out.