[HesseJam]

I am 42 old. If I had known 25 years ago what I know now, my sex life would have been a lot better. When I was young I thought stuff like "will she like me", "will she like me talking to her", "wouldn't she find it gross if I asked her to have sex with me (well, never ask - just act, but don't press)", "am I attractive enough" etc.

You know what? The girls want to have fun. They want to have sex. They want to have somebody caring for them. They want somebody talking to them.

That security guard incident tells me that you are on the right track. Repeat! Repeat! Next time you ask a girl out set your mind, envision the good time you are going to have together. If she declines, don't say "oh, that's ok", say "oh, that's too bad" with a MILDLY disappointed face expression. Key is, that you convey that BOTH of you are going to miss out. Then say good bye not without having said that you enjoyed the conversation with her. If carried out correctly, you can mount a 2nd try a couple of days later.

Now, most of you will laugh and say "why waste your time on the girl, just move to the next one!." First, it could be that this is a real nice girl and you would like to go the extra mile. 2nd, if it is a girl on your campus, she will give you good references if asked by another girl.

In one of the early Seinfeld episodes George complains that he never hits it off with the women:

Jerry: Ok, so there is hope?
George: Hope? I do not want hope. The last thing I want is hope. I want complete hopelessness. If you gave up hope then you don't care. If you don't care, that is what makes you attractive to women!