[lameloser]

I'm having issues and would like to know how to handle things. It's your typical story that you've probably heard many times and might have been in yourself.

I met this girl online about a month ago. We talked over email for a while and she seemed really cool. I've never really met people off a computer as I've always seen it as just weird. The girl seemed real cool though and one night we were both looking for something to do, so she sent me her number and told me to call if I wanted to go out. I called her and we made plans to go out to a bar.

Our meeting was purely as friends. We were two bored people just looking to get out and do something. She had sent me a picture of herself when we were talking over emails and I wasn't too into the pic she sent me. It was a webcam shot of just her head and it was a really weird angle. I really didn't care what she looked like though as I said, she seemed real cool and we were getting together to make friends.

I had sent her many pictures of myself so she knew what I looked like and she approached me at the bar. If it wasn't for her coming to me, I would have never guessed as this girl was just flat out gorgeous. The type of girl that is normally out of my league but just exactly my type. She wasn't some skinny little thing, but not fat at all. I like women with a little meat on them.

I get nervous meeting anyone but now I'm really thrown for a loop. This wasn't the kind of girl I was expecting to meet and I was about to go into my old self and clam up. Something clicked in me though and I just turned into Mr. Personality. I had her laughing the whole night, which was great but also shows my complete lack of game. I just dug myself into Friendville.

I didn't care though because while she was definitely gorgeous and had an awesome personality, I saw her as just a friend. I have female friends that I'm not interested in and was happy to add another friend in my life.

However, while hanging out and talking a lot over the last month, I have really got sprung on this girl. I just can't see myself doing the friend thing anymore as it's just beating me up.

Her personality is unlike anyone I've ever met and easily the thing I like most about her. Sure, it helps that she's gorgeous and just my type, but it's really the personality that drew me in. I've never even really checked her out, like if you ask me if she has big boobs or a nice butt, I couldn't tell you. I don't think I've ever not checked out a woman.

I'm just digging this woman way too much. So my problem now is I want to get over it. I can't see myself being friends with this girl anymore because I'll just want more and I'll just keep beating myself up over it.

The best way I think I can get over things is to just cut off communication with her completely. I know that if a friend just cut off communication with me and I didn't know why, I'd be pretty pissed. Is it like the ultimate level of loserdom to send her a message telling her why? It's definitely not something I could do in person or even on the phone.

I'd really appreciate any advice here, even if it is to just kill myself.