Re: OK, so
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Sorry, I just reread the OP and realized that I wrote a lot of stuff you already know. Here's the important part imo:
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Basically my natural bent in life leads down a path that I don't want to, and I'm looking not to end up like people I pity.
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Who do you pity? Who do you admire? While I thought that many of the profs at Chicago were brilliant (Lucas, Sargent, Scheinkman), and some in the same set seemed genuinely happy and kind, I didn't actually want to be like them/do what they did. Part of graduate school is something like discipleship. Is there anyone (anywhere) you see now that you would like to emulate?
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I pity really smart people who look back on their lives and think they have wasted it and lash out at circumstances which stopped them being great/constantly remind everyone how smart they are/hwo great they could have been.
I'm not sure I want a career in full time academia, I like most of the stuff that Levitt does (am guessing he would be my thesis advisor), Fryer, Becker.....
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